happy birthday to me!

(This post I wrote on July 7th but forgot to publish 😁)

TODAY IS MY BIRTHDAYYYYY!!!

Phew... a year has passed just like that.  One year ago, I was in my house, contemplating about my 25th year, and whoosh! Now I'm 27 years old and still clueless about many things in my life hahaha.

If someone asks what I've learned this past year, I would probably say patience. A looooooot of patience. I started my 26th year with a birthday in the middle of a pandemic. Even though I never had a bday party, I always spend it with my friends (only one or two of them, not a hundred😂). But last year I was lucky enough to celebrate it with my family. To be honest, it was quite special, because I still have my Grandpa. He always is the earliest to call and congratulate me. Everything with life went pretty well until I lost my Grandpa in February.  I don't want to recall that moment again, but this was the saddest thing that ever happened to me this year.

Losing my Grandpa is not the only one that makes me sad. Last August/October my salary sadly got cut. It was not too shocking, since I've known that the sales are gone bad. But I can't tell this to my parents and have to live from my saving. It was hell and I  went through it. My salary goes back to normal in January, but I started to question my work and its future.

Long story short, I decided to resign in April. Things are going hard again since I didn't get any new job yet. These job-related things are one thing that really tests my patience. There are few things that also have to be postponed. I think when you get older, you have to understand that sometimes you have to wait for certain things in life to actually working out. Of course, you also need a full effort to make it happen. But it's totally okay to slow down and step back for a while, so you can see the bigger picture. 

Few days before my 27th bday, I almost decided not to celebrate this bday happily. I want to punish myself for being a failure and a useless potato😅. But after I was exposed to sad news for days, I realized that being alive and healthy right now is really a luxury (or kids on the internet would say 🟎privilege🟎). There's no such more precious thing than that. These are the things I should be grateful for and such a shame if I don't feel thankful. So today, I want to make myself the happiest person. I won't let anything or anyone ruin my day. I wanna love myself before I love anything else. Hoping this year will be more joyful than before.

At the end of the day, you only have yourself. Don't take it for granted. Also, sad moments won't last forever. This too shall pass.

See you tomorrow!